Easily the Greatest Car Nobody Wants


Some say it looks like a big Passat, like that's a negative. We like the Phaeton's simple lines.


From those two big exhaust pipes comes a sweet V8 rumble.


Everyone who drove the car felt the steering was too light, but we all loved the interior, which is as luxurious as any car for the price.


History will judge the failure of the Volkswagen Phaeton as a stain on our automotive times, just as it will the death of Oldsmobile and the profile of the BMW 6 Series. The car is that good, and its sales are that bad.

The Volkswagen Phaeton is a flop of Edsel proportions. In the 18 months since VW launched the Phaeton in September 2003, it has sold just 2,506 examples of the ultra-luxury sedan. That's an average of only 140 cars per month. During the same time period, Mercedes-Benz sold 31,536 examples of its S-Class.

Is the S-Class that much better than the VW or are America's well-to-do car consumers simply refusing to spend $67,000-plus on a Volkswagen? After a week behind the wheel of this silver 2005 VW Phaeton V8, we figure America's well-to-do must be as label-conscious as the Gastineau Girls.

The V8 Model
A year ago, we tested a 2004 Volkswagen Phaeton W12 and thought it had the stuff to take on the BMW 7 Series, Mercedes-Benz S-Class and Lexus LS 430.

This Phaeton V8 model, however, is actually the better buy. Although it's packing 85 less horsepower than its 12-cylinder sibling, the V8 is a genuine bargain at its $66,950 base price.

For that price you get the same strong 335-hp, 4.2-liter V8 and Tiptronic six-speed automatic transmission used in the smaller Audi A6. You also get 4Motion all-wheel drive, an auto-leveling air suspension with electronic damping control, electronic stability control, 18-inch wheels and tires, such gratuitous engineering as heated windshield-washer nozzles and enough rear-seat room to park three steroid-abusing baseball players, if you run in those circles.

Changes for the 2005 Phaetons are limited to a restyled grille, restyled wheels and V8 models now come standard with a "soft close" feature that automatically pulls shut any passenger door not completely closed.

Our test car wore two option packages: The Comfort and Cold Weather Package ($4,800), which includes a heated steering wheel, and the Technology Package ($1,150), which adds electronic parking assist and a power-opening and -closing trunk.

Both are worth the cash. All told our Phaeton V8 added up to $76,355, which is about the going rate for cars in this class.

Not a Sport Sedan
If you're looking for a sport sedan, look elsewhere. The same $75 thou will buy you a Mercedes-Benz CLS500, which is far more fun.

No, the Phaeton is unique in today's market because it's a traditional luxury car, like Cadillacs were in the '50s and '60s. It's powerful and surprisingly athletic, but it isn't a car you spend a day throwing around mountain roads. Instead, you point a Phaeton toward Vegas at 100 mph. You'll arrive at the craps table feeling lucky.

The "basic" setting on the adjustable suspension is the closest to a perfect setup we've ever felt. Every rough, jagged or rippled piece of pavement is translated through the seats and steering wheel, but it's so ideally damped you're never bothered by any of it. And from a handling point of view, it's just not possible to upset this car. It isn't razor-sharp, but it's unflappable.

At the Track
At the test track, we recorded a 0-60-mph time of 7.6 seconds and a quarter-mile run of 15.7 seconds at 92.5 mph. Quick enough to feel fast, but much slower than the W12 model and the last BMW 745i we tested.

On the road and in the slalom, the Phaeton's big tires, all-wheel drive and hefty 5,000-pound curb weight give it awesome stability. But the gearing in the six-speed was all wrong for the slalom test (too fast for second gear, too slow for third), which limited its speed to just 59.5 mph. That's significantly slower than the 7 Series.

Brakes are also good, but not great. They do resist overheating, which is important and impressive considering the Phaeton's heft, but its best 60-0-mph stopping distance was a lackluster 130 feet.

Classic Elegance
Inside and out, the Phaeton's design is warm and timeless, but modern. It isn't understated to the point of plain like Lexus cars have a tendency to be, and it has no interest in taking automotive design in a whole new direction like BMW seems hell-bent on.

The Phaeton looks good and always will. Its design is about style not fashion. Nobody has to get used to it, which some feel is the mark of good design these days. Instead, it's simply long, low and wide like cars should be, and wears just enough brightwork to look special.

That classic elegance is carried inside, where you'll find a beautiful set of instruments, a steering wheel covered in leather so soft it's almost suede, and enough wood to build a tree house.

Volkswagen has also added small artful details other automakers like BMW and Mercedes just don't anymore. Things like a small square chrome V8 badge on the shifter, and chrome rings that surround everything, even the turn signal indicators.

We especially like the wood doors that silently retract every time you start the car to reveal the dashboard's air conditioning vents. They're like something right out of Q's workshop…as are the Phaeton's rocket launchers and its ability to transform into a submarine.

Volkswagen also allows just enough V8 growl into the car's cabin to keep things interesting, but the Phaeton's interior is whisper-quiet at any speed.

Not Perfect, but Close
The Phaeton isn't perfect. In fact, it has five small problems: 1) Its steering, while full of feedback, is too light; 2) Shaquille O'Neal would think the window switches are too far from the driver; 3) the CD-based navigation system thinks too slowly; 4) its adjustable suspension annoyingly resets itself to the "basic" setting after every key cycle; and 5) its cupholders are too shallow.

Get Over It
If you're shopping for a high-end luxury sedan and haven't considered the Phaeton because of its VW badge, get over it, you're missing out on one of the world's great cars. The Phaeton is a glorious creation of power, grace, style and sophistication.